Ten years. That’s how long LBFE volunteer Sylvia has been visiting and hanging out with older adult Mary.
“It’s crept up on us,” says Mary. “We’ve really shared a lot of great times with each other, and it’s been delightful.”
Sylvia started volunteering for LBFE more than 40 years ago through her church, when she helped deliver meals at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
At one point, she says, an older adult commented about the great need many isolated older adults have for visitors – not just during the holidays, but at all times.
“I made a pact with myself,” Sylvia says. “When I have the opportunity and the time, I will volunteer.”
After working outside of the Chicago area for about ten years, Sylvia came back and reached out to LBFE again.
“I went to their training session, and they connected me to Mary.”
That moment has led to a ten-year friendship that is going strong. “I don’t see this as a requirement or an obligation at all,” says Sylvia. “Mary is my friend.”
The two women talk over the phone two or three times a month and go out together at least once a month.
“I’ve gotten so much out of it, it’s ridiculous,” says Mary.
Mary, who is 81, grew up in the city and, later, in the suburbs. She did secretarial work for management companies in Chicago for many years. She was married, then divorced, and also took care of her mother after her father passed away. She is not in touch with her only surviving sister.
Sylvia and Mary, like so many others, have had to adapt in recent years, largely because of the pandemic. “There were times when I couldn’t visit,” says Sylvia. “It was a difficult time for Mary and so many people.”
These days, Mary also faces some health challenges, especially with her eyes and knees.
At one point, the two women talked about whether Mary wanted to get a pet. “I asked her about that for many years,” Sylvia says, “and eventually she decided to get a dog – a chihuahua-Jack Russell mix.”
“She’s a medium-small dog – very determined, and the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” says Mary, who lights up when she talks about her dog. She adds that “Sylvia referred me to a groomer who has been absolutely great for my dog,” says Mary.
For Mary’s 75th birthday, the two friends went to a French bakery. “That was a splurge,” laughs Sylvia. “We’ve also gone to Chinatown, the zoo, grocery stores, and many other places. And we’ve gone to parties at LBFE. One of our rituals is to go to a dollar store. We love doing that.”
“Whatever we do, it’s always a good experience,” says Mary. “Quite fun. We just enjoy each other, that’s all. We just clicked.”
“There is so much we can learn from each other,” adds Sylvia. “Mary has a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. In general, we’re really supportive of each other.”
Sylvia reflects on the times she has spent with Mary. “It’s not about age,” she says. “It’s about friendship.” She adds that “LBFE is a great organization that understands the importance of bringing people together. We have to focus on the elderly – they are sometimes forgotten. Sometimes it’s the little things that make a huge difference – things that we can take for granted. Even a ten- or 15-minute conversation can make someone’s day or week.”
As for Mary, she hopes others can find a friend – just like she did. “It’s true,” she says. “LBFE really inspires people to make friends.”